I want to do Arbonne for so many reasons.. (big breath) okay, here we go:
I want to be financially independent and achieve financial peace in my life
I live with my grandma right now, which is awesome, we are basically an adorable old married couple, but I want the freedom to live on my own if I so desired.
I wan to be debt free by the time I am 30 (I am 25 now) I am going to get rid of these student loans if it kills me! I have about 40,000 total including all the interest ect.
After that I want to put 2000 dollars in a slow growing mutual fund and let it sit forever for my retirement/ childrens' college funds
I am the oldest of 5 and I take each of my siblings on a date just us two. I want to be able to do funner dates with them
I want to be able to pursue my acting career to the best of my ability. I often feel so limited in my artistic pursuits because of my finances. You can't take the acting classes you'd like at $0 extra dollars each month. My goal with Arbonne is to pay for my life and then have money to drive all over Hollywood to auditions, go to meet ups and casting director workshops and several different classes each week, to have the freedom to really pursue acting and do it right.
I want to outgive Oprah.. how cool would that be???
But seriously, I want to be able to do random acts of kindness for strangers.. like buy the person's groceries who is in front of you at the grocery store or pay for a single mom's electrical bill or buy a struggling family a car, support my favorite listener supported radio station, give a bunch to my missionary friends and my church
I want to be able to pay for friend's dinners and actually get my family nice Christmas gifts
I want to make a movie, produce my own talk show, write a book
I want a personal trainer to keep me accountable to staying healthy
AND... TRAVEL! Gosh, I'm addicted to being an adventurer... and then be able to take whoever with me, because hey, I can afford it. Europe, Israel, Alaska, Australia, go to an Olympic games, take off on a whim, re-visit my favorite children's home in Thailand
I remember the last time that I felt my life was complete was in college.I had everything I wanted, I knew it and I was grateful daily. Over the past two years as I graduated, worked through the misery of the real world and fought helplessness, I tried to target exactly what it was about my college experience that I loved.This is what I came up with: I had the balanced lifestyle I wanted. It wasn't one thing in particular, but the combination of so many wonderful things that made it so great. Everything was "magically" paid for (aka loans), I was constantly learning and studying my love: acting, I had a social life with people I adored, I was in an environment of dreamers who were going to change the world, I was in leadership with my theatre program, the RA program and I lead a mission team. I was able to pour into people, I created the campuses first ever female talk show (trail-blazing), I got to dress up everyday and go to meetings, lunches, discussions, talk about the deeper things of life and meet others, find out their stories. I guess mostly, I was a success. I graduated valedictorian with all the bells and whistles and leadership ability. I say all that not to sound flashy, but to give the reader an idea of the type of life I built.
http://vimeo.com/24137276 (Commencement Speech Video)
However, when I moved to LA to act, I was depressed to find that it all meant nothing to people, that directors could care less how many accolades you had.... Then two years after I graduate top of my class I find myself coming home from waiting tables, so frustrated with my agent and just feeling like a loser. Wasn't I supposed to be better than this? Wasn't I supposed to be smart and talented and capable? I was going to change the world right? Why did I fail so badly? What lead me here? Do I give up on my dream? What am I doing with my life? A part of myself was dying and I felt it and it often made me cry. Ugh, I want to act so bad. Have you ever wanted something so bad that it hurts? and then you drive around staring a billboards and watching movies of the dream you were supposed to have and it hurts more? And even worse because you feel paralyzed, unable to pay for the "necessaries" to make your dream happen. I'll kill myself and die if I try to do a 9-5, but all my extra time is limited without the finances to be building an acting career instead.
So... why Arbonne? Because I want myself back. I want to be good at something again. I want to be rewarded for my hard work, I want freedom and flexibility to take back my life and make better choices with my time. I want my dream back. I want to support my family and give to others. It's not one reason, but a myriad. This has to work for me, this will work for me! I refuse to be working in a restaurant a year from now. I want the balanced lifestyle. I want it all.
And maybe that's too much to ask for and unrealistic, but it's honest and I'll never know if I don't try, so why not? what else am I doing with my spare time besides reading and researching anyway? It's time for a change!
Thanks for letting me process! I think I'm closer. I didn't cry, but I did feel my passion stirring at parts, so that's good, right?
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